Written and published by Jean-Louis Mondon
This story takes place on the Algerian mediteranean coast in the city of Annaba and in Constantine, my home town in the mountains.
When I was 14 years old, in August, the hottest month of the year, while on vacation at my uncle´s beach house, I suffered a heat stroke as I fell asleep on the beach at noon time when the temperature can reach 120 F. I had suffered heat strokes before, but never as severe as that one. Back home in the mountains, during the following week, besides the usual symptoms, I experienced an altered mental state and behavior.
You have to understand a little background. At age 11, when the civil war started, I was a student at a Catholic boarding school hearing all these wonderful things about the love of God. I went to Mass everyday, early in the morning, even serving as an altar boy - at that time the service was all in Latin. I went every week to Catechism, to confession and communion after having fasted the night and morning before.
Each following year, after Christmas, Easter and summer vacations ended, I was so happy and looking forward to see my friends again. Instead, some of them came back with some bullet or knife wounds, some of them didn´t come back at all, their whole families massacred in terrorist attacks on their farms. We used to go to funerals almost every month. Some of my friends were tortured. One question that we discussed a lot with my confused friends looking for real spiritual answers to the senseless life we were experiencing was: "How could a loving God allow such horrific acts of violence perpetrated on innocent victims?"
Already living for quite a few years with untreated depression that was exacerbated by the heat stroke, I felt incapable of telling my parents what was going on inside my head, there would be too much to tell. Until then, the only outlet for my frustration and my pent up anger was to bang my head on the walls and acting out against authority at Catholic boarding schools. All I was thinking was to end the nightmare, by releasing the prisoner from my own painful silence. Without any help from family, friends, relatives or a mental health professional to share with, after reviewing all the possible ways of ending it all, I finally went for the quickest solution.
I was holding my father´s loaded gun to my head, ready to pull the trigger when I heard the soft inner voice of God (through the Holy Spirit or an angel, I still don´t know) prompting me:
" Jean-Louis, put the gun down, as long as there is life, there is hope".
This is the single sentence which God used to save my life. He knows everything about you and is able to save you too if you find yourself in the same pit of despair.
This story takes place on the Algerian mediteranean coast in the city of Annaba and in Constantine, my home town in the mountains.
When I was 14 years old, in August, the hottest month of the year, while on vacation at my uncle´s beach house, I suffered a heat stroke as I fell asleep on the beach at noon time when the temperature can reach 120 F. I had suffered heat strokes before, but never as severe as that one. Back home in the mountains, during the following week, besides the usual symptoms, I experienced an altered mental state and behavior.
You have to understand a little background. At age 11, when the civil war started, I was a student at a Catholic boarding school hearing all these wonderful things about the love of God. I went to Mass everyday, early in the morning, even serving as an altar boy - at that time the service was all in Latin. I went every week to Catechism, to confession and communion after having fasted the night and morning before.
Each following year, after Christmas, Easter and summer vacations ended, I was so happy and looking forward to see my friends again. Instead, some of them came back with some bullet or knife wounds, some of them didn´t come back at all, their whole families massacred in terrorist attacks on their farms. We used to go to funerals almost every month. Some of my friends were tortured. One question that we discussed a lot with my confused friends looking for real spiritual answers to the senseless life we were experiencing was: "How could a loving God allow such horrific acts of violence perpetrated on innocent victims?"
Already living for quite a few years with untreated depression that was exacerbated by the heat stroke, I felt incapable of telling my parents what was going on inside my head, there would be too much to tell. Until then, the only outlet for my frustration and my pent up anger was to bang my head on the walls and acting out against authority at Catholic boarding schools. All I was thinking was to end the nightmare, by releasing the prisoner from my own painful silence. Without any help from family, friends, relatives or a mental health professional to share with, after reviewing all the possible ways of ending it all, I finally went for the quickest solution.
I was holding my father´s loaded gun to my head, ready to pull the trigger when I heard the soft inner voice of God (through the Holy Spirit or an angel, I still don´t know) prompting me:
" Jean-Louis, put the gun down, as long as there is life, there is hope".
This is the single sentence which God used to save my life. He knows everything about you and is able to save you too if you find yourself in the same pit of despair.
Needless to say, I obeyed without
arguing, so overwhelmed I was with the impact of that wonderful life saving divine intervention. What was only turmoil, self-doubt, and self-deprecation inside my hard head and my heardened heart made some room to an unexpected and quite surprising ray of hope. This was before the time I started talking
to my soul!
A few days later, after recovering, life continued as usual. It didn´t get any better, in fact it got worse, but I am alive and doing well and able to tell you that there is hope and life in trusting and knowing the God of the Bible who listens, who hears, who sees and acts to rescue those like me who reached the end of the line, who face an immovable wall and cry out to him in despair.
A few days later, after recovering, life continued as usual. It didn´t get any better, in fact it got worse, but I am alive and doing well and able to tell you that there is hope and life in trusting and knowing the God of the Bible who listens, who hears, who sees and acts to rescue those like me who reached the end of the line, who face an immovable wall and cry out to him in despair.
Since then, even going through
worse ordeals, I have never reached the point that I wanted to take my life.
In 1966, after I became a born
again Christian, I wrote a long letter to my parents finally explaining and sharing among other things, what
happened that summer on the beach and how God intervened and saved me from death and hell. Years later, as a legal immigrant to the US, he set me free from the bondage of sin, physically, mentally,
emotionally and spiritually, changing me into a new man through His great mercy and amazing grace.
This is what the Lord Jesus says:
9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For
everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks,
the door will be opened. 11 “Which of you fathers, if your son
asks for[a] a
fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an
egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, though you are
evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your
Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” Luke
11:9-13May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13
Jean-Louis.
If you are not born again and desire to know how to be born of the Spirit to a new life in Jesus-Christ, here is a link that will help you understand the process which will help you to put your trust and know God your Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus-Christ who died for you because of his great love and care for you.
http://www.gotquestions.org/born-again.html
If you are not born again and desire to know how to be born of the Spirit to a new life in Jesus-Christ, here is a link that will help you understand the process which will help you to put your trust and know God your Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus-Christ who died for you because of his great love and care for you.
http://www.gotquestions.org/born-again.html
Wonderful story I needed that reading today! TAL
ReplyDeleteIt warms my heart to know your reaction.why not pass it around and share with others. There are suffering people who don´t know where to turn to. This is why we have to use the gifts the Lord has given each one of us to encourage, comfort each other and bear other´s burdens. Everything I write is free, there are no string attached. Thanks you so much for taking the time to write back and say a few kind words. You have made my day. `Please, come back and visit for a cup of tea or coffee and a sweet delicous cookie. May God bless you with all you need and some surprises, big or small according to his rich mercy.
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